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PART THREE

KIN NOTES

Date: 1/28/94

Tom: What did you mean by "our rotten religion" ( This is a quote from a month ago )

Geof: I out did myself

Tom: What did Adrian mean by " gem in old religion"

Geof: Its U O I's. Your onto what quotes are important. ( After two years of studying this, I’m a QIM tune scholor.)

Date: 1/31/94

Tom: This power thing. I need to get a ballpark idea of it. We have it, but you guys are more aware and practiced at it and can focus it at right time? Right?

Nick: Oui

Nick: Jed into money too much.

[I denied I was vis a vis them, but recently I’ve been financially pressured]

Nick: O U Jed O Jed

Tom: That's nice of you, But I O U

Nick: U U U U Jed un O I U ! O Jed Om U. Jed enough moucher for us. Yes, you are a moucher.

Tom: Are there any of us who aren't?

Nick: Yes

Tom: Who?

Nick: Utts ( This throws me off the "utt" trail. )

Tom: Utts?

Nick: Teo u someday. Mind in south direction. ( South, I believe, represents my primordial impulses )

south infers underworld, unconscious, libidic, daemonic, chthonic

Tom: Mine?

Nick: Yes. South Oleo interest. You should understand Thin Tin Man Roi to us. You not in outside lane to us. Tin Man I O U. Your to Most High for us!

:O)

Nick: U Jed uno Jed to us .Not oun on ... Jed onto no I OU.

Nick: Tune to us.

Tom: How?

Nick: Meditation tones.

Nick: Zoo 'round Oz.

Tom: What's Oz. Our world , yours, Beta (The Dorm)? ( The dorm )

Nick: Our's.

maybe meaning they are the center, surrounded by an infernal “zoo” -- like Avalon within the lake, like the Grail Castle within the bloody moat

“Zoo round Oz” also plays off Nick’s “you not in outside lane to us” quote, suggesting a “close-orbital” type of relationship

“tones,” so ubiquitous in the Tunes, forms an essential part of Chinese speech, and the Sumerians probably spoke a unique non-Semitic language that likely also incorporated tonal elements (and would bear on the pre-Babel “unified speech” of humanity

Tom: Recently or usually.

Nick: Usually.

Tom: Jerome once said "Tunes aint lef" (PeterSellers).

Brent: To care lame. Tom Perry

ooh, a Quotefest!

kin I play?

thanks for asking, here’s my entry:

Sleep is easier twined in the safety of the promises
that are kept by those who care.
The field is to be a connection if the boys are patient
and the seeds are sown on the other side of the waterway

Excerpt from “Quiet by the Edge of Dreams,” Jeffrey Powell, Jr.

[ It is interesting he should mention Perry here. I don't know why I didn't ask, but I did call Perry because of it shortly afterwards. With the earthquake down in L.A. and all, Perry sounded a little stressed and I felt that he was disappointed that I hadn't called sooner to see how they were. Perry, by the way, was the person who introduced "Giles Goat Boy" to me- he did his undergraduate thesis on it. He now has five novels published. This past two years of my financial difficulties he's helped cushion me with a two grand loan. I used it to work less (moonlighting) and concentrate on this project. So he's really my sponsor for this, but he doesn’t know it]

[The first question I asked Nick about whether you use your "powers"?]

Brent: Yes, we are using it.

Tom: Nick's comment on Oz. Is he just bitching.

Brent: Yes. Excells at bitching.

Brent: We quote you tarnishing semantics.

Tom: You mean when I try to explain your guys stuff?

Brent: Yes. Pew arting Halls favorite.

Brent: Kemp will be President.

Brent: You all we latice people have.

Tom: Have?

Brent: You utterly eclectic.

Tom: [Dinner] You want to talk later?

Brent: I: E. Most High. Use all we taught you. It'll cause Jed's mother to be happy.

Brent is possibly following-up Nick’s “Thin Tin Man Roi” quote above (“Your to Most High for us!”)

the use of the colon suggests ratio relationship, as in I is to E

the word “thinking,” e.g., is “thin-king,” hinting at both its roots and prospects (roi being French for “king,” derived from the Latin regem, the accusitive case of rex, via the Old French rei.)

Perhaps English is evolving from the many, confused, and warring tongues post-Babel into not merely a lingua franca, but a recovered ur-language – and exploring the dialect in Qim Tunes may have a part in that.

“Jed’s mother” is probably equivalent to Adrian’s “Joy” – magna mater, this planet

Thin Tin Man Roi, Roq Lord, the Ref: perhaps an eschatologic witness/judge, a “followed favorite,” perhaps related to Geof’s prior quote, “In lost kinds of ways we record necessary demons”:

Think not in your minds, neither say in your hearts, that every crime is not manifested and seen. In heaven it is daily written down before the Most High. Hence forwards shall it be manifested; for every act of oppression which you commit shall be daily recorded . . . (1 Enoch 96:16)

by “manifested,” Enoch means not only revealed, but “worked out” through incarnation (i.e., brought home to all individuals)

rounding out the “Thin Tin Man”/Oz theme, there’s also this:

Listen people to a story
that was written long ago,
'bout a kingdom on a mountain
and the valley folks below.
On the mountain was a treasure
hidden deep beneath a stone,
and the valley people swore
they'd have it for their very own.

Go ahead and hate your neighbor,
go ahead and cheat a friend.
Do it in the name of heaven,
you can justify it in the end.
There won't be any trumpets blowing,
come the judgment day.
On the bloody morning after
one Tin Soldier rides away

“One Tin Soldier” (Dennis Lambert, Brian Potter)

or:

We've been through some things together
with trunks of memories still to come
We found things to do in stormy weather
Long may you run...

Maybe The Beach Boys have got you now
with those waves singing ‘Caroline No’
Rollin' down that empty ocean road
Gettin' to the surf on time.
Long may you run.
Long may you run.
Although these changes have come
with your chrome heart shining in the sun
Long may you run.

“Long May You Run” (N. Young)

Tom: Who should get the FC Coordinator job? Angel or Tom?

( I’m not taking them seriously about my promotion (Most High). It would be another three or four months before I would. Reading this now, two years later, I feel ashamed at my reaction.)

Nick: Tom

Tom: Who's going to get it?

Nick: Tom Tunes muny lot. Don't stun our Angel.

Here’s an example of how these guys jump straight from the personalistic (the Coordinator job at “Seaton Hall” involving the woman named “Angel”) to the collective (the warning against stunning “their” Angel, possibly someone involved with the “Most High” business, with what Geof later calls the “Lord lotto”)

“stun,” of course, is “nuts” backwards, suggesting that this “Angel” is nutz or is perceived as a nutcase – a wingnut!

Geof: Toss FC. Stupid women you let run tux. You press luster to more here. [At this point I was criticizing Terry with Brent] You lutz, RN utts , not us. ( Rn is registered nurse. Nursing comes in a variety of contexts as we go along. Here, I think he’s saying that I should take care of my advisaries more than them )

Tom: What's are utts?

Geof: Stowe House assholes [ Stowe House is a lovely park I spend many of my mornings before going to my athletic club. I indulge my bad habits there] Tussle mind moppers. Rt uttys.

Tom: RT?

Geof: You try W K T not faqirs.

“K T” is elsewhere identified as “Kursed Tutus” and associated with “nuts”

Geof: Plenty of work to do fostering tunes. Your stupid Hale. U O I.

Adrian: Not in yutz. Tunes to support you. His life not yours. Your mio better

Nick: Our Jojo U O Jed

Jerome: Exit nuts , pen us.

“exit nuts” may mean freeing the so-called “retards” -- the outsiders -- from the Zoo, outing them into mainstream society

“pen us” follows up that theme, as “open us” or ”write about us,” though the opposite interpretation of “enclose” or “confine” is also available

[Joked w/ Adrian about Brians " to care is lame" statement]

Jerome: He an tar you. You care to sense, we are sense. Hety so you kut exy.

Tom: Happy Birthday Geof! Tomorrow is your Birthday.

Geof: Yes. Out on the edge noise sustains us. Tutu on rut on my Jed.

Tom: Why?

Geof: Tune in tones ie noise.

Tom: Do you actually here voices chattering away?

Geof: No. Mostly noise exhibited in noise

Tom: How do you know specifics of what I think?

Geof: Urgent sounds mind hears.

Tom: Do you know the science of it?

Geof: Yes Q R S T immasses heinous L D's.

Q – R – S – T is, I think, the sinus wave (normal) electro-sequence of the human heartbeat

“L D’s” coupled with “heinous” feels infernal -- my guess on “LD’s” is “Low Downs,” “Lowest Denominators,” or perhaps “Latter Days” -- in which case he’s describing “tune in tones” or the process of mental immersion/telepathy

the modern L.D.S. church is heavily involved with “baptisms” of the dead, and some commentators connect these activities with malevolent necromancy and the occult interests of Joseph Smith

Geof’s comments here stem from his previous gambit, “Tutu on rut on my Jed,” perhaps an allusion to “noise” he hears from the libidic energy of the “Jed” he was monitoring at that time

Tom: Is that a joke or are you serious.

Geof: Your not rinsing ages on our Tunes. Your so stupid skinning us.

Tom: So there's something to it?

Geof: Out nell recorded in our history. Stupid Ronnie Hale's not happy with. I Lime most Smith. Sveting Norsemen last longer. Quote story not to Ronnie, confidential. Let mind reading place RT on hinge. TLC Mecca in OX.

“Sveting Norsemen last longer” could suggest Vedism in general, and the Indo-Germanic god Wotan in particular – of his pre-Norse lineage, and of his “transformation” into another “deity” when those tribes were Christianized

“Let mind reading place RT on hinge” – as in a bridge or trapdoor linking Heaven and Hell

“TLC Mecca in OX” suggests, in part, “the goal is love” (see immediately below for a possible connection between Brent’s “Ten gain” quote and a literal ox)

Seal IV

Date: Feb, 1 1994

FC Coordinator Job went to Angel. Money squeeze OK. The Buffalo Bills lost the Super Bowl again. Brent had hysteria today.

Brent: You it, jut for us.

Tom: We have a beach walk, jacuzzi etc. What do you want?

Brent: Tet U I O. Refuse to educate. Use sag it. Ebb must enact ... U I O Ten gain. U I believe.

In Buddhism, as mentioned above, the Tenth Ox symbolizes wholeness in the path -- the marriage between earthly matter (cherry trees) and spirit (the boddhi)

At Devereux Point (Beach)

Adrian: You Jed nuts.

Geof: Out O U.

Tom: The PRN problem? ( He had a rare behavior problem before I came to work today. I berlieve it was meant to be a message to me because of my disappointment about the FC job. I don’t usually line things like this up, but this time I can.)

Brent: Occasionally odd behaviour occurs.

Tom: Anything to do w/ FC coordinator job?

Brent: Nemisis augments us. Elemental heart yards bigger that you have.

Tom: Am I being punished?

Brent: No. Necessity to get job done. ( This "Nemisis furthers the goal" idea really has been the most aid to me in this task. Every step of the way, mine and FC’s detractors have made the most blatantly foolish mistakes which ultimately do more to promote FC and me than anything the believers could have done.)

Tom: My instincts about it have been OK?

Brent: (Yes) (Yes)

Tom: Anything else.

Brent: (Yes) About western note you made about Buffalo. The West is the best(Yes).Touches all the world. Atest in favor years and years in advance.

“Atest” is both “a test” and “attest,” perhaps the Tunes as a testament

Tom: You sound like a Mormon

Brent: Yes. Like them. Axes to grind for them.

Joseph Smith was a modern Hermeto-Gnostic priest, amongst other things -- a magus who carried and used magickal objects, including a “seer stone”

of Smith, Harold Bloom wrote:

his genius reinvented Kabbalah in the effort necessary to restore archaic Judaism

reportedly, Mormon Temple rituals are heavily influenced by Masonry and Hermeticism

as John L. Brooke puts it in The Refiner's Fire: The Making of Mormon Cosmology:

The alchemical-hermetic term of coniunctio powerfully summarizes the resolution that Smith had achieved at Nauvoo by the summer of 1844. He had established a theology of the conjunction--the unification--of the living and the dead, of men and women, of material and spiritual, of secular and sacred, all united in a "new and everlasting covenant" . . . . In effect the greater Mormon emergence can be visualized as meta-alchemical experience running from opposition to union, an experience shaped and driven by the personality of Joseph Smith.

Date: Feb. 2 '94

I've been very disappointed about Angel getting FC job. Need more money anyway. Thinking of contracting and getting job at Jay Nolan.

(Jay Nolan was a large organization of group homes for Autistics located in the high desert above LA. I had heard they were supportive of FC and thought I could go over there and get work. )

Geof: Tune lower o Jed. Necessity, Jed , nominal U O I

Tom: What "necessity""?

Geof: Out of sum then Jeds (Others need more time). You is oem in jem. Nick noel. Ou's ignores Nick. ( They all agree that Nick is my Mentor with this )

Tom: Ou’s?

Geof: Oin’s [Apparently doing another takeoff on I O U's] You owe nothing Jed to educate. O U's on even, not U O ie Raliegh.

“Oin” was one of Tolkien’s band of Burglar Dwarves in “The Hobbit” (each of whom was a kind of dwarf-lord in his own lands)

they were magical “aides” or allies of Bilbo Baggins, the protagonist of the book, the beneficent “burglar” who slew the devouring Dragon, Smaug

elsewhere in the Tunes, one of the Boys refers to their group as “gnomes,” and these entities, of course, have an ancient tradition, often related, like the Cabiri, to mining and other subterranean activity

“The Hobbit” and “Lord of the Rings” are the literary complement to Baum’s Oz books, sharing a spiritual underpinning

Tom: How would I do with Jay Nohan guys?

Geof: U O us not Lieus of Jay Nolan. (Lieus= crazies)

Tom: It seems to me that you guys don't need FC teachers + Fcers as much as you need the "story" to get out. ( I don’t believe I knew how right I was when I said that)

Jerome: Yes It is a testimonial(clear). Rebsy we need.

Tom: Rebsy?

Jerome: Sessy, Testy, Teuty.

“Rebsy” means “southern-sounding” or “rebel” in nature

“Sessy” is sassy, “Teuty” means Teutonic/Germanic, and “Testy” means, well, testy – a prickly kind of person

but “Testy” is also a possible play on “ballsy,” thus suggesting the Grail King and wound

“Rebsy we need” reminds me of Eminem, and his “Without Me””:

Little hellions kids feeling rebellious
Embarrassed, their parents still listen to Elvis
They start feeling like prisoners, helpless
'Til someone comes along on a mission and yells "BITCH"
A visionary, vision is scary, could start a revolution
Pollutin' the air waves a rebel . . .

Jerome: Tuex Kuy Yz

Tom: Adrian say something

Adrian: You O U U U .

Brent: U Tet.

Tom: Could I continue this at Jay Nolan as well as I'm doing now?

Brent: No. Touch better here because our minds gained abilities.

Nick: U O Too. U O O O O.

Tom: Brent is there any good way to go about this. If so how?

Brent: Yes. Ask Mecham. Mark calendar. Tet to be in March. Its winnable

Tom: What is required?

Brent: Task is to believe.

Brent might mean March, 2002 – when I sent you my first full draft of these Notes – and here, “Tet” probably means a major “offensive” on their behalf

Tom: Believe in what your saying, you or God.

Brent: Not believe in OU's. ( He hit the nail on the head there )

Tom: This I O U stuff. Would you use it with others or is it more personalized with me?

Brent: Others

Tom: Donnellan said with this spirit stuff, someone came across the words Hudder and Judder. She said that she would be interested in what you guys said it meant. (I remember now, I brought it up and this was all she mentioned about it)

Brent: You tell Donnellan South is Hudder, north is Judder. ( I did tell her some time later, but all she said in response was "that is interesting" or some such thing.)

Tom: You guys don't cross validate with our stuff, but maybe you will with your stuff. (3/96 The "toll bones" have been numerous and consistent with what I recieved here)

Brent: Yes It demeans us to get involved noticing your "stuff".

Nick: You are an asshole.

Tom: OK. That's what I was thinking you were going to say. Now say something that's yours.

Nick: You essentially believe. Religion is us. Your some nehi quote mother fucker.

Tom: Could I do the job as well at Jay Nolan?

Jerome: My easy. ( I remember not getting this for some time because I was putting this emphasis on the wrong word. )

Nick: Yes. Some there are better than us.

suggesting that, even in a relatively close locale, other “autistic networks” exist …

this comment also shows the these guys aren’t too “ate up” with themselves

Tom: Nick says I can continue at Nolan.

Brent: Yes Our interest can be continued, but harder there.

Tom: Is is structural, relationship, clients or more?

Brent: Yes, getting the relationship.

Tom: Couldn't you help with them?

Brent: Yes. Never in a thousand years would we help. (This thousand year cliche has more significance to me now, but I know to others its stretching it. )

Tom: Why?

Brent: Tet is here

a millennial reference to Endtimes conflict?

tet on Earth, tet in Heaven . . .

He was born a pauper to a pawn on a Christmas day

when the New York Times said god is dead

and the War’s begun.

Alvin Tostig has a Son today

“Levon” (Taupin, John)

the feminist-dominated New York Times has done enormous damage to the men and boys of modern America over the past few decades

Tom: Why?

Brent: Tet is here because O U I. You handled this merely because of Nick.

Tom: Wouldn't Nick help?

Brent: Yes

Tom: Wouldn't you help?

Brent: No. Centinel believes to hell with you.

[Sitting next to Brent and thinking of ramifications of my possible leaving]

Brent: Yes. I am bemoaning your leaving. Yes tears are falling. You please me not a little. ( There were a few tears comming down his cheeks. I never saw any of them have tears before.)

Date: 2/3/94

Hatchell talked to me before work about about presenting a paper on my FC work for the Las Vegas Autism Conference comming up in March. This was a real feather in my cap if I did it. I was excited about it, but also nervous and apprehensive about public speaking. I struggled all through high school trying to overcome my stage fright by becomming an officer in numerous organizations. I never overcame it. I don’t know what was going on behind the scenes, but some weeks later I talked to the CEO Atkinson about it, and he said they weren’t going to have me do it because the conference officials decided to de-emphasize FC. That this should happen on the heals of Brent’s tears, is not coincidental to me now.

Brent: Temerity - heats on. Teutonic Jed in lead. Git Jed's ass in gear. ( He’s addressing Hatchell’s Autism Conference offer.)

Adrian: Utt enough. He touches us.

Alex's Bar

Brent’s acting very upset

Tom: What's wrong with Brent?

Geof: U U U

Tom: What about me?

Geof: Your too nuts.

Tom: Brent, what's the problem?

Brent: Your agitating me.

Later....

Geof: Utt enough for me. ( These "utt" references are my increased status due to Hatchell’s offer.)

Tom: Want to go to McDonald's?

Geof: No. Karls.

Tom: What is it about Karls? ( I’m asking them about a mystery I detected on this job and with another population I used to work with (chronic Schizoprenics). Both groups overwhelmingly patronized Karls and I’m asking them why.)

Geof: I O U to Karl.

Tom: The owner

Geof: Yes

Karma at work! -- they sniff out and reward the righteous, even at the level of burgers ‘n fries!

Tom: Are you going to help with my presentation?

Geof: No. Mollify utt by O I not O U.

Tom: Presentation help?

Brent: Tunes frame the man. Wont help mall belief. SB. SB . SB. SB. (I don’t understand why the "presentation" would "mall belief". I’m interpreting the SB as the Christian staff Scott Bishop.)

Tom: I haven't malled his belief, but I have malled some of the hypocracy.

Brent: Yes.Dee Dee's getting girls.

(I made a crack once that an old staff (DD) joined Bishop’s church group because of all the young girls that attended.)

Tom: Yes I did, and that was in poor taste. But is it true? And I haven't done it to S.B.

Brent: Yes. With Bishop teasing. (I don’t think the "Yes" was in response to DD’s motivation for joining the chuch group. He brought this up to put on the record my nasty comment and my support for Bishop. He suffered alot of abuse from the young and liberal staff about his eager church participation. I defended him.)

Tom: Maybe a little, but I've been a whole lot better than the other stuff.

Brent: Yes.

Brent: Toll ain't esseminating snack. Me O U to end I O U. Sin ode O U.

Tom: [Referred above] Is that right?

Brent: No. To emece, ogle God not girls. (This is about ‘The Last Temptation of Tom Smith that I mentioned some time ago.)

“emece” may be “emcee” – then inferring a leadership role, a “master of ceremonies”

the larger reference is to the Nymph, the Host’s “Fall,” the kabbalistic/Rosicrucian “rectification” of the haeteric/uroboric/primal state, and completion of a transformational and redemptive cycle

“me O U to end I O U. Sin ode O U” could prophesy the death of sin and the mass forgiveness, or rectification, of karmic debt -- the Tunes are a “sin ode,” and these guys (and other otties) may function as “sin eaters”

both issues are bound up with the Fall, the mixing of human and divine elements, the wound inflicted upon the masculine by the termination of hetaerism (uninhibited sexuality), the inception of and progression of matriarchal kinship/social/proto-legal systems, and the release and redemption of the Scapegoat (both in its aspect as the Host, and in the persecution of masculinity in the West)

or . . . I could be Completely Rong . . .

Tom: Do you know about that thing of mine in the mountains. [ This refers to one of the strongest religious experiences I've had. It happened about 4 years ago. My ex wife had threatened to divorce me if I didn't do something about my personal problem. I went to the mountaines backpacking and felt trapped and scared. I was sitting on a rock, head in hands and said "Oh God". All of a sudden I felt a hundred percent better. It was like a huge weight was taken off me. I wasn’t praying or consciously asking for God’s help. He sure did give it though. I eliminated my personal problem for the next year and a half. Four months into the separation, after having a false cancer scare, my personal problem reared its ugly head again ]

Brent: Tet dull, not God.

Tom: Is that true about the aliens?

Brent: No Gores. Gotcha ( Finally, he fesses up)

Tom: Have you supported religion thru miracles and such?

Brent: No. Not enough towards it to account for enticing so many people.

Tom: Your back pedaling here.

Brent: Yes Torture over it.

Tom: Is it the paranoia from our side? ( Why they are being so circumspect )

Brent: Yes. Is the awe semantics required.

Brent: Yes, all it erases basic kinds of beliefs Religion requires.

Tom: If what you told me is true these past months, than a shift is required without losing belief. Possible?

Brent: Yes, emece it.

Geof: You ie hem belief. Sin out in our world. U O I not I O U . Gene hides tunes fomenting U O I Jed.

“emece,” again, may be “emcee”

“Yes, all it erases basic kinds of beliefs Religion requires” suggests that “awe” itself -- direct experience with the numinous, with “God” -- will be the practical “new religion

the law’s Spirit instead of the Letter, perhaps

those “beliefs” resulting from life experience, however, are not “erased,” hinting that it is phenomenology, and not received knowledge and social conditioning, which is carried across lifetimes and eras

Tom: Do I have an extra gene or am I missing one?

Geof: Tom is not Jed, but Meg. (I’m sure I had a good chuckle with this one)

 Back at the Dorm

Tom: Jerome if you were thinking of Peter Sellers when you said "Tunes ain't Lef", please spell PeterSellers

Jerome: Peter Sellers.

Tom: Did you know about him in the movies or Mad Magazine? (He loves looking at magazines )

Jerome: Movies.

Adrian: Tussle on spirit out.

Tom: Why?

Adrian: Tout oe not us.

Tom: What's oe?

Adrian: You.

Adrian: U O I , Jed, U U U U. To, um, rid, toss us out Jed, not our interest. Your to not tend our spirit stuff. ZOO tends Om O Jed, not Jesus. OU OU OU. Your to sort out. No hint, omit OUN

Tom: What's N ( I’m misinterpreting OUN )

Adrian: Neiman. (This is a curve ball because of my dumb question)

Tom: Adrian even wanted me to toss out Neiman.

Brent: Not Neiman, Janes.

Tom: What's Adrian mean by OUN?

Brent: Otto. Your Nickname Oed n ouch. (Otto was my nickname in high school - from Otto Schmidtlap in the 50’s sitcom The Life of Reily. This nickname became a problem as I went through high school. It brought with it a certain level of disrespect that I couldn’t tolerate. In my senior year I told everyone that Tom and Smitty were alright, but no more Otto. I turned it around except for one old freind who held out. I warned him a few times and then I had to punch him in the stomach. You should have seen the look on his face, he couldn’t believe I would actually hit him. He appologized and said he didn’t know how serious I was about it. He’s a great guy. )

Tom: OUN = Otto my nickname?

Brent: Nic